Day 5 – Ghosts on the Trail, Bitter Oranges, and a Tiny Bear
March 13, 2025
🧗♀️ Just Me and a Mountain
Today started with one goal: walk up a mountain. And… oof. It was not the kind of gentle incline that eases you in. This mountain came in swinging. The first ascent? Brutal. The kind where you start wondering if you're even spiritual enough for this kind of suffering.
I made friends with a Swiss guy the night before who had legs longer than my entire body. He was no stranger to steep mountains. He left around 2 hours after I did and quickly passed me just a few miles in with a huge grin on his face. With his cheerful accent he greeted me “don’t you just love the woods?” Dude, I can’t breathe.
Eventually I met with a tiny elderly Japanese woman. He was small but mighty, and spoke very little English but quickly became my climb companion—even though we weren’t really walking together. She was around 80 years old but was absolutely running up this mountain. I couldn’t believe it. She kept thinking each turn meant the top, and every time she saw more stairs, she was turn around and say in broken English “oh no, more climb!” I was so exhausted at this point the sight of more vertical trail would make me cry, but something about sharing the disappointment with her made it more bearable. She was so cute seeing her surprise at each turn really just made me giggle instead.
I eventually moved ahead, not because I was faster, but because I didn’t want her to feel pressured to hangout with me the whole time. (Pilgrimage etiquette is a real thing.) She showed up to Temple 12 just ten minutes after me anyway—strong as hell. They make old people different in Japan.
🧘 The Monk, the Bear, and My Migraine
Reaching Temple 12 was a huge accomplishment. I felt amazing. So tired I think physically it took everything out of me. I was working so hard needed to take my jacket off even though I could see little piles of snow on the ground.
When got my stamp I asked the monk about something I’d seen rustling around in the trees. He smiled and calmly said, “Ah, yes. Tiny bear.” I did a quick google to discover it was actually a Japanese raccoon. Maybe tiny bear was just a bad translation.
On the trail, I kept feeling like someone was walking just behind me. It was eerie—but not scary, exactly. More like I wasn’t alone, in the way you feel when someone’s watching for you and you don’t know it. I wondered if it was Kobo Dashi.
I was amazed at how even in just a few short hours in the woods how your mind begins to wonder to a strange place. I noticed myself filling in the silence with imagination I haven’t felt since I was a child. Also, the trees creaked so loudly I genuinely thought it was speaking to me. Nothing like a haunted forest to keep you moving uphill.
🌀 I Will Not Lose Sight of the Truth
That phrase kept running through my head all day. I’m not sure where it came from—maybe something I read, maybe something that slipped in from the universe—but it was oddly grounding.
It felt like a reminder to stay with it. With the walking. With the challenge. With myself.
🤕 Migraine Meltdown → Full-Belly Fix
At the hostel everyone was getting ready to go to the Osen (hot spring) and someone asked if I wanted to go . I explained I had tattoos and they politely nodded their head no but I understood: “Nahhhh, bitch. It ain’t happening.”
And honestly? Fair. Japan stays committed to the rules. But my legs were on fire from the walk and I would have really loved the hot soak.
After the hike, I hit a wall. I felt sick, completely wiped, migraine creeping in, and just laid down in a dark room like a Victorian woman who got some bad news.
Turns out—I just needed a real meal. A reminder that, yes, water is great, but you are a creature of rice and calories.
During dinner the hosts had the local Sumo watch on the TV. I didn’t know much but there was one famous wrestler I remembered from my childhood watching with my dad. “Akebono” I said. All the Japanese people in the room immediately perked up and smiled that I knew the name. For a moment we were connected. These little moments sneak in when you’re tired and spiritually cracked open.
🍊 Dinner Theater & Bitter Citrus
At dinner, I was handed a plate of oranges. I smiled. I thanked them. I took a bite.
They were bitter. Like peel-the-lining-of-your-mouth bitter. But I nodded and mmm’d through it like I was doing a commercial for gratitude.
Then, an older woman who I walked with showed up and instantly lit up the room. Surprised we was staying at the same place! She cracked jokes, made the entire table laugh, and gave the kind of effortless warm energy that makes you forget how wrecked your legs are. It was the perfect ending to a long, weird day.
💬 Final Thoughts: Pain, Prayer & a Tiny Bear
Today was one of those quietly epic days: nothing dramatic, but everything felt a little heightened. A little strange. A little whispered.
The mountain was hard. The trail was weird. But the monk smiled, the oranges showed up, and someone (or something) walked behind me most of the day. Whatever it was, it felt like I was being looked after.
